Important Advice for Dealing with An Angry
Many times dealing with an angry spouse can create feelings of increased stress,
anxiety and depression. However, it doesn’t necessarily mean the end of a relationship; rather preservation of
your relationship is possible once you and your spouse are able to work together as a team.
It is important to understand that there can be many
causes of anger so without being able to effectively communicate with them it can be difficult to pinpoint the root
So, What Can You Do About it?
While you should not allow yourself to become the focal point of angry behavior that borders on abuse, you
should also ensure that you are not contributing to the anger by reacting in a manner that will simply serve to
further aggravate and intensify your spouse’s mood.
It can be all too easy to react with your own anger when you feel as though you are being needlessly attacked by
your spouse. Therefore, here are a few tips to help you with the very complex situation of dealing with an angry
Remember, communication is an essential part of any relationship. When are you dealing with an angry spouse, it
is vital that you learn how to communicate using healthier forms of communication (listed below).
Accept that you are not a mind reader. You cannot possibly understand what your spouse is thinking if they fail to
Validate their feelings once your spouse starts to express them. Every person is entitled to their feelings;
however, don’t allow those potentially negative feelings to take control of your relationship.
Deal with an
Angry Spouse and save your marriage
Suggest seeking out professional help. Some people are very resistant to the idea of seeing a therapist; however, a
therapist is an impartial third party who can truly help with the process of learning how to express emotions using
You should remember to take care of yourself and your needs, especially when you are dealing with an angry
Certainly it is important that you help your spouse work through the issues contributing to their anger,
however, you need to ensure you are also allowed to express your own emotions too. Failing to do so will only lead
to having feelings of anger, resentment, and even potentially depression.
Some healthy communication tips include the following...
* Keep focused on the situation at hand; avoid the temptation to bring up conflicts from the past, even if they
appear related to the current issues.
* Be a good listener; many people think that they are listening but their focus tends to be more on what their
response will be once the other person falls silent. Try to avoid the temptation to focus on your thoughts; listen
to your spouse, truly listen to what they are saying and reflect on what was said. You will gain a better
understanding of what they are feeling, and also help to encourage them to listen to your thoughts.
* Do your utmost to see their point of view. When we are embroiled in a conflict, we tend to focus our energies on
getting our points across without actually taking the time to try and see the situation from our spouse’s point of
view. This can result in no one feeling understood!
* If you are criticized, avoid getting defensive about it; instead, response to their words with empathy, try to
see if there is a small amount of truth to what is being said so that you can work together on a solution.
* Admit when you are wrong or have been in the wrong.
* In lieu of using statements that start with “you did this” you should start statements that start with “I feel
frustrated.” “I” statements are a lot less accusatory and will help your spouse to understand where you are
* Compromising, instead of trying to be the one who wins the argument, can help you to come up with solutions that
will work to meet your needs and the needs of your spouse.
* Effective communication involves truly listening, truly understanding, responding using positive and encouraging
Dealing with an angry spouse certainly isn’t the most pleasant part of any relationship; however, through some
patience and dedication, you can find a resolution that works for the both of you.
Learn more tips on
how to Deal with an Angry Spouse and save your marriage today!