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Several Important Tips to Follow for Getting Over An Emotional Affair

affair repair
An emotional affair, one in which there is no physical intimacy and only intimacy of the emotional and mental caliber, can be just as devastating to your marriage. Getting over an emotional affair might actually prove to be significantly more challenging than working through one in which things were strictly of a physical nature.

It is important to note that the sense of betrayal from the other party in the relationship can be incredibly deep. The betrayal will come from the deception, feeling ashamed, feeling inadequate, and the lies that have now come to light.

Working Through and Getting Over the Affair

There are several steps that each partner in the relationship can take while getting over an emotional affair. Before you can get started, however, both of you need to be completely committed to the preservation of your relationship.
Without that commitment, not only will the processes be fruitless but there is also the strong potential for a repeat emotional affair at some point in the future.

Once you have each committed yourselves to the preservation of your relationship, and come to the realization of just how important you are to one another, you can start the steps of rebuilding a relationship that is much stronger and much more secure.

  • Seek professional help from a relationship counselor who will be an impartial third party to the restructuring of your relationship. Your counselor should be someone that you both feel comfortable with and feel secure in opening up to.

  • Understand that trust takes time to earn, especially after an emotional infidelity. If you are the person who strayed emotionally, you will have to be patient as your spouse learns to trust you again. On the other hand, as the spouse who has been hurt and feels betrayed, it is important that you start to let go just a little bit and allow yourself to trust your partner again.
  • Getting to the bottom of why the emotional betrayal occurred in the first place can be a very healthy part of getting over an emotional affair.

Did you feel as though your spouse no longer truly understood you and what you were going through?

Have there been major changes in your household that perhaps rocked the balance of your relationship?

What is missing or has perhaps changed in your relationship dynamic?

What is it about the person you were confiding in that made you seek them out for conversation of an intimate nature?

1) Learn to truly listen to one another’s thoughts, opinions, and feelings without throwing judgment into the mixture. You should be able to freely share those thoughts, those opinions, and those feelings without fear of being judged or criticized by your spouse.
2) Put your spouse before anyone else in your life, perhaps with the exception of your children. No one should rank higher in your heart and your mind than the person you are truly committed to.

3)Holding on to the past can be hugely destructive. If you have make the commitment to let go of the past then you need to honour this; don’t bring up past hurts and indiscretions when you are embroiled in an argument.
4) Do your utmost to make your loved one feel secure. This might mean telling them how much they mean to you, encouraging them to pursue new interests, or inviting them to share in your interests and hobbies.

As you are going through the process of getting over an emotional affair, it is important to remember that there are a few things that should never be a part of a healthy, loving, and committed relationship.

  • Jealousy
  • Bitterness
  • Manipulation
  • Mind and emotional games
  • Judgment
  • Criticism
  • Abuse
  • Control

Relationships are based upon the way in which you communicate with one another and the way that you ultimately grow to love one another as a result of the way in which you connect emotionally. This can make getting over an emotional affair so much more challenging than an affair that was purely physical.

Overcome an emotional affair today

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