4 Valuable Tips on How to Deal
with Jealousy in a Relationship
It is important to note that not all feelings of jealousy are a bad thing. It is a perfectly natural part of being
human to have a level of envy and jealousy for something or over someone. The key difference is what triggers a
situation to go from a mild jealousy to a destructive jealousy that is now threatening the relationship.
The Root Cause Of Jealousy
If your significant other is filled with anger stemming from extreme jealousy in your relationship, you need to
help them to figure out the root cause of these negative emotions. Perhaps it is you who feel threatened or
otherwise jealous over them? If you do not determine where these emotions are stemming from, you will quickly find
that other areas of your life will be just as negatively impacted and you will be unsuccessful at learning how to
deal with jealousy in a relationship.
As a general rule of thumb, jealousy is the result of long-held emotional concerns that have never been
- Low self-esteem
- Previous infidelity within current or prior relationships
- Feelings of inadequacy and insecurity
In order to learn how to deal with jealousy in a relationship, these deep-rooted emotional concerns need to be
addressed using healthy and productive methods.
There are a few positive and healthy methods of helping you, or your partner, to effectively work through the
emotional issues that are leading towards relationship damaging jealousy.
- Identification of the underlying issues is the first step in the process; working with an objective third
party, like a psychotherapist, will help to identify these emotions.
- Once identified, positive reinforcement exercises that also help to build self-esteem, can go a long way
towards resolving the negative emotions.
- Further identification is required in order to recognize the triggers for the jealousy. Certainly
insecurities will be contributing towards how you feel; however, what behaviors, actions, and statements from
your partner make you feel increased levels of jealousy?
- Couples counseling can be hugely beneficial because it will help each of you learn more about what is
responsible for this jealousy that is damaging your relationship.
During the course of couples counseling, you should learn methods of positive reinforcement and overall positive
thinking. When your mind starts to drift towards negative and jealousy-filled thoughts, you should switch your mind
to focusing on positive things. Also, give yourself a bit of a reality check. Does your spouse’s not answering
their phone mean that they are spending time with someone else? Is it not a lot more feasible that they are
working, on another call, or simply didn’t hear their phone ring?
Allowing your past and your own insecurities to have power over you and your relationship is perhaps one of the
most destructive forms of jealousy there is. You will come across as aggressive, controlling, needy, clingy, and
invasive. Unless you and your significant other learn how to deal with jealousy in a relationship, you could very
well be facing a hurdle that your relationship cannot recover from.
Here are 4 valuable tips that you and your spouse can follow as you learn how to deal with jealousy in a
- Be honest! It is important that you are both very clear about the way that you are feeling. If you are
feeling jealous, do not hide it. This will simply serve to build resentment, anger, and additional jealousy.
Instead, be open and honest when you communicate with your partner. This will allow you to work together on
your relationship problems.
- Trust your partner! If your relationship is otherwise sound, and your partner has never given you a reason
to doubt their fidelity, then you should let go of those suspicious and jealous emotions. Have a bit of trust
in the way that they feel about you and have a bit of faith in the strength of your relationship.
- Space is important! If you are clingy and constantly insisting that your spouse spend all of their free
time with you, you will find them getting incredibly frustrated and irritated with you. We all need a bit of
space and time to ourselves.
- We all need to spend time socializing with our friends and family members. Allow your spouse this freedom
and space so that you, too, can enjoy time to yourself.
All relationships take a lot of work. Work with your significant other so that you can both focus on these
healthy methods of learning how to deal with jealousy in a relationship. With teamwork and a dedication to your
relationship, you will soon find that your relationship is as strong as your commitment to one another is.
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