Tips for How to Save a Marriage in Crisis
You probably never thought it could happen to you or to what you always
thought of as the perfect marriage. All of a sudden, however, you've realized that your marriage is actually
in crisis. If you don't do something about it fast, the problems you're experiencing might lead to your worst
nightmare - a trip to divorce court. If you're not ready for that horrendous experience, try these tips on how
to save a marriage in crisis.
Before we begin, however, please keep in mind that because each marriage is different, not every tip will work
equally well for every troubled couple. You also need to realize that you can't wait for your spouse to change
things; instead, you need to be proactive and start the ball rolling. Once you do, your spouse might react by also
working on your marriage.
Stop Criticizing and Complaining
First of all, try to become more accepting and stop complaining and being critical. This type of behavior merely
pushes your spouse farther away and makes your relationship even more troubled. And if your spouse criticizes or
complains about you, don't try to defend yourself, just calmly agree or ignore it. Never get into an argument about
Don't Pressure Your Spouse
Although your spouse might also be looking for ways to save your marriage, never pressure him or her to work on
it or make any changes. Pressuring your spouse will only make him or her feel defensive. Stop yourself whenever you
think you're beginning to do this.
Show Your Appreciation and Affection
Unfortunately, it's not uncommon for the partners in a marriage to take each other for granted, especially when
they've been together for a long time. You've already realized how lucky you are to have each other, or you
wouldn't be looking into how to save a marriage in crisis. Everyone needs to feel appreciated and loved, so stop
taking your spouse for granted.
Instead, start showing your partner how much you appreciate and care for him or her. Remember those wonderful
qualities that made you want to get married in the first place, and recognize how important your spouse really is
to you. Showing your appreciation and affection can be a big step when you need to know how to save a marriage in
Avoid Emotional Conversations
Although you probably do need to improve the communication between you, when your marriage is fragile, having
difficult, emotion-laden conversations with your spouse can actually backfire. These types of conversations can be
an emotional minefield and lead one or both of you into saying something you'll regret, such as laying blame or
For now, keep your conversations casual and upbeat instead. Make it a goal to talk more frequently and openly, but
at this stage, don't press your luck by getting overly emotional. However, once your marriage gets safely back on
track, talk about your issues honestly instead of letting them fester.
Realize Disagreement is Normal
No matter how much any couple loves each other, they will never agree on everything. Learn to accept that each
of you is an independent individual with your own thoughts and emotions. Once you recognize that simple fact,
you'll realize that disagreeing on some things is natural and normal.
If none of the other tips seem to be working, try marriage counseling. It can be very effective and teach both
of you how to save a marriage in crisis.
You probably already realize there are no cut-and-dried answers when you want to know how to save a marriage in
crisis. Some of the above tips might seem simple, but sometimes making even a couple of seemingly minor changes can
make a tremendous difference. You might even be able to turn your relationship around.
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