How to Stop Marriage Fighting - Before it's Too
Though you may feel yourr situation is unique, the truth is married couples more
often than not go through the same thing. Eventually, the honeymoon glow fades from a relationship and the
fights begin. And, often times, the fights are over trivial matters.
Minor issues like whose turn it is to take out the trash or who is supposed to be doing chores can lead to terrible
rows. Fights can become so bad they can lead to hurt feelings, resentment and if allowed to continue on, can even
ruin your marriage. If you want to learn how to stop marriage fighting, here are some tactics you may wish to
implement to cease martial conflict once and for all.
A major aspect necessary for couples figuring out how to stop marriage fighting is learning to allow yourself
time to calm down. The old point of view about not going to bed angry, really does not apply to marriage. A lot of
the time, giving your spouse some space and allowing yourself to sleep off your anger can give you a clear head.
Even just walking out of the room for a few minutes can prevent a fight from turning into a screaming match and
allow you both to refocus on the actual issue.
The reason couples end up fighting so much is because they make the choice to fight. When we argue with our
spouses, we get into the mentality of proving our point, wanting to be right. To figure out how to stop marriage
fighting you must remember that the purpose of a marriage is not about winning, or proving that you are right, but
rather look at it as you and your spouse being on the same team.
Sometimes by making a joke to diffuse the tension, can allow your partner to hear and see your vulnerability
instead of getting defensive and angry. Often just seeing how genuinely upset you are will help your mate realize
that the issue is serious and needs to be resolved.
Get Outside Help
As you learn how to stop marriage fighting consider some form of meditation or seeking counseling, counselors
are professionals with years of experience helping couples reconcile. The counselor will set rules for each
counseling session, helping you as a couple to openly share your point of views. They can also help you both
communicate, explaining how to read your partners body language and avoid minimizing your partners' feelings.
Next time you have an issue with your spouse, calmly ask them to sit down and join you. Take a few minutes to
collect your thoughts before speaking. While you talk, remember it is not what you say; it's how you say it, if
your goal is to learn how to stop marriage fighting. Avoid making accusatory statements, or reminding your spouse
of how often you have to remind them to do something.
You should also keep your voice neutral; sounding bitter or angry will not help the situation. Instead, ask
questions, listen to what they have to say and try to see the situation from their point of view. Then work on a
solution to the problem and look for compromises that will work for you both.
If you really want to learn how to stop marriage fighting, remember you are not entirely blameless. It takes two
people to fight. Be willing to acknowledge your own faults in the marriage and learn to control your own anger.
Even though every marriage will have it's ups and downs, by learning to be civilized to your partner and working on
your issues together, you can keep a strong intimate bond with your spouse and avoid divorce court.
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