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How to Tackle Money Problems In Marriage

When it comes to coping with money problems in marriage, there are a few very important steps that couples need to follow to not just cope with but also to resolve the problems.

Learn How to Talk About Money

Even someone who has studied finance and accounting may not have the ability to actually talk about money. Knowing where it goes and how to track it is one thing, but being able to sit down and talk about in a logical and strategic manner is a key part of coping with money problems in marriage.

So how do you learn how to talk about money? Let’s take a look at a few tips that can get your marriage on the right financial track.

  • Put aside emotions. It can be difficult to do, especially if one person feels as though they are being attacked when financial questions arise. However, the more that emotions come into play, the less work will be done on resolving your problems.
  • Use terms that include “we” “us” “our” versus words that include “I” and “me.” This not only builds a divide but it pulls away from the idea that this is a partnership.
  • Do not use financial problems as a means of controlling or otherwise making your partner feel bad. This is not productive and will further damage your relationship.
  • Treat your household finances and your budget like you would a small business, this can remove the personal aspect of dealing with money problems in marriage

Financial problems can lead to very big emotional problems within the marriage if you don’t learn to let go of the emotional side of your fiscal situation.

learn how you can fix money problems in marriage today

Making A Workable Plan

To resolve money problems in marriage, there needs to be a plan of action, a budget, and ground rules about spending. Both spouses need to be completely comfortable with the financial guidelines that are being set. If both are not in complete agreement then resentment is slowly going to build between the two of you.

Here are very workable ground rules that will help you to develop your financial plan.

  • One joint checking account is rarely a good idea. Instead, three checking accounts should be considered: his, hers, and the household. Each partner should contribute their predetermined portion needed to pay for the mortgage, groceries, utilities, childcare, etc.

  • What this does is that it will allow for the bills and other expenses to be sufficiently covered, while also allowing each person a little bit of financial freedom with the balance left in their own checking account. What they choose to do with that money shouldn’t matter to the other partner – so long as financial responsibilities are being taken care of first.

  • There also needs to be a fair amount of accountability. This means that while having your own money for a bit of financial freedom and independence is a positive thing, you should never hide your spending from your partner. If you plan on spending a lot of money on big-ticket items, consult your spouse so that you can both agree that this is a purchase you can afford.

  • Be realistic about your lifestyle and your budget. Living within your means doesn’t mean that you need to necessarily go without some of the little luxuries that you enjoy. It means that if they are important to you, you will find a way to put them into your budget while making cuts somewhere else. Don’t live in a fantasy financial world. Be realistic about what you can and cannot afford.

  • Prepare for the unexpected. Rather than spending every penny you own just because you have it in the bank, consider setting up a household emergency savings plan that will give you a little bit of a financial cushion should you run into a financial emergency.

  • When you do encounter money problems, even with your budget and plans in place, you should not react out of anger. You should approach your partner with a cool and level head so that you can rationally work on a resolution. You may also want to ask yourself why your spouse found it necessary to spend beyond what you can afford. Is there a hidden emotional problem or problem within your relationship that needs to be explored?
  • You and your spouse should consider taking a few basic budgets and accounting classes. This will help you to learn how to cope with money problems in marriage by approaching your marriage as a business that needs to have strict control over where all of the money goes to. These types of classes will also allow you to become more familiar with accounting software that can help you and your spouse to better track where all of your money is going to.

Don’t let money problems in marriage spell the end of your marriage. Sit down with your spouse and remind one another that you are a team. With a team-effort, you will be able to quickly narrow down your problem zones and work on a resolution that is acceptable for both of you.

learn how you can fix money problems in marriage today

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